Two Lists

 

A week and a year of my time on earth will end. When I think about this year, I recall mixed memories of joy and tears. So, I decided for this last week of 2011 to write two lists. One of the things I’m grateful for and one for the things I regret.

I’ll fill those two lists daily , so by the end of the week I’ll have 7 things on each list.

I hope that this idea will make me feel more optimistic about the future and more thankful about the past.

A letter to Neverland

Dear Neverland,

Suddenly, when we are starting to get along and know each other, I’m drawn away from you.

This new life style that came with the job leaves me with no clear mind to write. Even if I have dozens of ideas and thoughts to write, just when I have time to put them down in words, I’m mentally exhausted.

Please be patient on me. I have many thoughts in mind and you are the only place where I can speak them out loud. So, I’ll be back soon.

Yours,

M.

Waiting

Every night I see you in my dreams

Holding your hand, hearing your voice

When you left me, I cried a sea of tears

My love, I know you didn’t have a choice

I’ve never imagined living without you

I've never imagined how it would feel

Suddenly, death came and stole you

And left my wounds open with no heal

You were the only friend that I’ve got

My child I’ve never born

With your death I’ve been shot

And my heart has been torn

Life without a meaning, sun without a ray

Waiting for death, waiting for my destiny

Heaven is there, where you’re waiting by the bay

I’m coming, longing for you to embrace me

P.S  inspired by a true love story.

You make me feel like a teenager

Dear new inspiration,

You entered my life unexpectedly and I admit you had my attention at the first sight. You spied on me and I can’t deny that I liked it. There is something about you that inspires me.

When I see you around, you make me feel like a teenager again.  You inspire me to write and dig deeper in my soul.But just when I had an idea to write in my mind and I was so close to blow it down in words, you just disappeared. It’s like you never existed before. I feel like I was catching smoke in my hands and I’m starting to think that you were just an imaginary person I created in my head.

So, dear inspiration, whether you are real or not, please stick around, enter my world and let me be inspired by you. Let me live those lovely moments of excitement, those teenage moments so I can find my way back to my adult life.

Yours,

Lost in time.

Finding a new start

I’m complaining recently about having no inspiration to write as I used to do. I used to write how I feel in form of poems. I’m not saying I’m a poet, but this has been always my favourite way of expressing my feelings in different situations.

Nothing urges me to write any more. Some will tell me “what’s the big deal? You don’t want to write and writing doesn’t want you”. But the state of being free and jobless makes me think of my potentials.  I think about my talents, what I’m good at, and what makes me happy. And writing is one of those few things that I do happily.

Days go by, they are just the same

Time is meaningless, my life has no aim

This is not how it’s supposed to be

This is not what I wanted for me

So many dreams I have in mind

Paths I need to find

It’s the first time to be completely alone

I have to make it on my own

All I need is inspiration

Some support and purification

Imagine what I want to be

Have faith and strongly believe in me

That’s all it takes to make my dreams come true

It’s the new start that leads to where I want to go

To a state where happiness will be my trend

And feeling love will have no end